“Where else?”

Ansel Adams — Half Dome and Moon, Yosemite Valley, 1960

I invite my clients to see our relationship and our work together as a sandbox and a microcosm of their lives.

Anything they do with me, I trust that they do elsewhere.

And, anything they practice with me, they can bring to the rest of their lives.

Powerful Mirroring

Last week, we kicked off Coaching Business School. The group is already off to a phenomenal start.

A few days ago, one of the participants shared a story about how he decided to elevate the standards inside of his group program. He had given his students an assignment that most of them did not complete.

Instead of moving forward with new material, he slowed the class down. He made it clear that they would not advance until everyone had completed the assignment. This was not about punishment, but about having a strong foundation.

He drew a parallel to his experience in kung fu schools (he studies zen and martial arts in the mountains of China), where the best teachers maintained immaculate standards — always on time, impeccably dressed, and fully present. These teachers understood that allowing sloppiness wasn't kindness, but a form of neglect.

His story reminded me of a powerful question that I love for moments when we uncover gaps between intention and action: “Where else?”

Wherever You Go, There You Are

As a client, “Where else?” was a powerful mirror for me.

For example, I used to do incomplete work all the time. I always had a reason: not enough time, someone didn't get back to me, I decided it wasn't worthwhile, I didn't want to…

Ironically, I was also often pissed that incomplete work didn't get me complete results!

Until…

“Where else do you do incomplete work?”

“Where else do you expect incomplete work to get you complete results?”

“Where else do you abdicate your power to fulfill on your commitments to someone else?”

“Where else do you make commitments without a system in place to fulfill on them?”

“Where else do you inauthentically make commitments that you have no intention of following through on?”

AHHHH!

At first, I had a real love-hate relationship with, “Where else?”

I didn't like looking at my own responsibility.

Over time, though, it became empowering. 

I realized that acknowledging where I was cutting corners and asking, “Where else?” wasn't about judgment or self-criticism. It was about becoming aware of the pervasive habits in my blind spots that ran my life. 

Our opportunities for transformation often live in the “small things” that we step over.

Love,
Levina